A Liar and a Whore
I was primed upon arrival. Ready to go 12 rounds with America’s Playground. I had all night to accrue all the cheap thrills a hundred dollar bill could buy. While my enthusiasm has endured, my endurance has waned.
A mere four hours in, my winnings were paltry, my eyelids heavy. Was it really only 4:30 a.m.? Fuck it. Time to call it. First things first - a full stomach to sleep on. Sbarro’s? No choice. Done. Onto bed.
Interception.
I smiled at the girl perched at the last slot before the elevator.
She said, “Come here.”
I might have articulated a polished response, if it wasn’t for the matching wads of cheesecake that were visibly testing the elasticity in each of my cheeks. Call me a glutton, but $4 is not the going rate for savoring every delectable bite. With haste and a painful gulp, I desperately tried to make space for words in my big fat mouth.
“You mean to tell me that you want to spend a little time with me in my hotel room because I told you my name?” Oh good. Those were just thoughts, not words. Whew. Glad I squeezed that blank out of the chamber. Time for the silver bullets.
I told her of my mishaps and small fortunes as a professional poker player. Oh, the length of that smile at my every word! In the very same town perhaps only a few hours prior, Carrot Top himself could be found battling back the boos. I was killing it and she was there to hear all about the hilarity and hijinks. No, she heard a cash register opening. It was time for brass tacks. Without hesitation or stutter, she posed, “You have cash on you, honey?”
This girl wasn’t genuinely taken with my disgusting eating habits or my sheepish grin after all! Damn you, Las Vegas. Your bench players certainly know how to clean up late in the game.
So what? I gave up my dignity in exchange for cheesecake. I’m a fucking whore. But at least I’m not a liar. Then again, I don’t play poker professionally. Still, I wouldn’t try to convince some John that there’s something sexually worthy about such behavior.
Note: No sex was had for any sum of money in the living of this story.
